PLAGIARISM.

Is a crime, simply put. Feel free to post this summary on any other site. Just make sure you have my permission or at least a link back to my site. I feel it shouldn't be necessary to keep this post above my blog, but to prevent this from happening again, I have provided information on how to cite me and contact me, there is no excuse now to plagiarize my work.


Just to make this horrendously easy for anyone wanting to post my summaries:

Always link back to: http://sti-twilightsaga.blogspot.com

Means of Contacting:

Aleksei.Kaza@Gmail.com || Achromatosis@Gmail.com


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Summarizing the Idiocy:: The Aftermath || What book five would be like.


STI:: THE AFTERMATH.




Bella:: I'm a vampire! A really lame one, I sparkle and don't have fangs! Oh and I rule the world because in the last book I realized I'm one of those all powerful Mary-sue types!

Logical Readers:: Oh god someone shut her up already!

Edward:: I'm here hunnybunchesofoatsbby. *Sparkle*

Bella: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE STILL DAZZLING AND PERFECT AND JUNK, LIKE TTLY TAEK ME NOW.

Meyer:: I AM SO TURNED ON RIGHT NOW! *Masturbates to the thought of her crap characters have sex.*

Renseme::
MOMMY MOMMY, JACOB LIKES TO FONDLE MY BOOBIES.

Bella:: Of course he does dear. [I mean srsly who hasn't realized how perverse the fact that a 17 year old male imprinted on a BABY/TODDLER/CHILD.]

Meyer:: *Continues doing her business.* OH IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW, I'M FAT.

Logical Readers:: EEEEWWWW, THE MENTAL IMAGE.

Edward:: SOME OF THIS SHOULD BE IN MY POINT OF VIEW!

Bella:: No, I'm the Mary-sue, go get your own popular series Edward.

Edward:: Oh Bella, the only reason people even read Twilight was so they could pretend to be you so they could pretend I stalked them around and killed adorable little animals so I didn't kill you.

Fans:: OMGEDWARDMARRYUS!

Logical Readers:: You're a creep, gtfo the internet now.

Plot:: *still rotting away in the Volvo.*

*SOMEWHERE IN ITALY*

Aro:: *Dances around a revel fire* [I didn't read all of book four, I have no clue if he's dead or not.]

Caius:: Aro what does this accomplish?

Aro:: *Strips down and rubs mud all over body* I dunno bitch, but it feels hardcore right yo'.

Marcus:: I'm really starting to worry about him, he's just not the same anymore.

Caius/Jane/Other Volturis:: Tell me about it.

*BACK IN FORKS OR WHEREVER THE FUCK THEY LIVE NOW*

Renseme:: I R VAMPIRE. I VANT TEW SUK UR BLUDZ.

Logical Readers:: Oh fuck, she's a nooblet-sue.

Fans:: OH MY GOD RENSEME, WE WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU, WHICH IS WHY WE DON'T SPELL WHEN WE ARGUE THAT TWILIGHT IT THE BEST SERIES EVER!

Bella:: I NEED MORE LINES.

Edward:: AS DO I.

Jacob:: *Molests Renseme, because hes a fucking pedophile.*

Other Cullens:: THIS IS OUR ONE LINE!

Jasper:: Wait that hardly seems fair.

Alice:: I know! What the hell Meyer. Write in your better characters at least a little more often.

Jasper:: Alice you do realize you aren't one of her better characters.

Emmett: Are any of her characters decent?

Logical Readers:: Needs moar Jasper and Carlisle, you know the two she more than likely plagiarized from someone else.

*Intermission with Jasper and Carlisle Cullen*

Carlisle:: So Jasper, you had a half decent back story in the book Eclipse.

Jasper:: Yours wasn't to bad in Twilight either, wasn't really elaborated on. Which was good because that means Meyer didn't ruin your character.

Carlisle:: That's true. I hope she doesn't ruin my character in Midnight Sun.

Jasper:: She probably wont, she'll try to make you really well developed by wikipediaing some famous novelist and stealing their characters back story.

Carlisle:: On that note, who did she steal your back story from Jasper?

Jasper:: I'm not sure, but we could always google it and find out.

Carlisle:: Good idea. *Gets out laptop and googles.*

Jasper:: Well oh my god! She plagiarized me from. . . .

*End of intermission.*

Bella:: Back to meeee! Because I'm perfect and crap!

Edward:: I love you Bella. *sparkles violently*

Plot:: *tries to come back to life.*

Meyer:: *Gets Dick Cheney's hunting rifle and shoots.*

Plot:: *dead again.*

Edward and Bella:: *Have some random love scene*

Fans:: AW THAT'S SO CUTE! I WANT TO BE BELLA!

Logical Readers:: Okay, this whole thing is getting really quite old.

Any English Major in Existence:: *Agrees.*

Renseme & Jacob:: *Have some form of sexual contact*

Meyer:: *Does more inappropriate things to herself.*

Bella:: OH MY GOD, I BROKE A NAIL!

Edward:: Holy shit! Lets do something totally irrelevant to that just because Meyer want's us to seem all powerful!

*Insert that very thing I just mentioned.*

Bella:: Edwaaard, I love you.

Edward:: I love you more.

Bella:: Nu-huh

Edward:: Yah-huh

*Insert 28 pages of that and sex, and a happy ever after.*

A courageous logical reader:: *Storms in with a a packet of matches and lights them up putting one down each vampires throat causing them to be set ablaze.* [In a interview Meyer said that the venom in her vampires was flammable, if by biting a person the venom is injected into a person that would make there mouth, throat, stomach, highly flammable, therefore killing them.]

Other Logical Readers:: OUR HERO!



THE FUCKING END.


Comment the STI guest book please!


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